This article is an excerpt from a past monthly letter. If you enjoy this kind of grounding support, sign up to receive the monthly coaching package: it includes an article like this one, journaling prompts, creative practices, spiritual rituals and supportive tools to help you navigate your rebellious path as an artist or creative entrepreneur.

If you’re navigating procrastination, this podcast episode might be supportive to you. This is also something we can explore together through private coaching.

If you ever noticed yourself building a structured plan, creating a detailed to do list and implementing a brand new management system… yet, not taking action on any of it, you may be familiar with procrastination: putting off doing something, for days, weeks, months, years even.

Before we explore the topic and uncover solutions, let’s make something clear: procrastination is not a time management or discipline issue. Actually, it has very little to do with our ability to manage our time and everything to do with our ability to properly manage our emotions. Procrastination is, simply put, distracting yourself from pain. When we procrastinate, we avoid a negative emotion (triggered by something that may be challenging) by doing something that feels good, easy or numbing.

If you’ve been looking to cure procrastination with the newest time management tool, you’re not addressing the right issue. You’re procrastinating on overcoming procrastination. And when you do, you end up betraying yourself constantly: telling yourself you’ll do something, and then ghosting yourself. Over and over again. Accumulating a lot of guilt for those unstarted or unfinished projects, as you slowly but surely decrease self trust.

When we are stuck in a procrastination pattern…

We exhaust ourselves with busy (useless) work to avoid doing the hard work
We jampack our schedule with a million of things that don’t matter, giving us the perfect excuse not to do the one thing we’re trying to avoid
We’re buying into the belief that busy-ness is worthiness: the more we do, the better we are
We struggle getting started or finishing a project, and collect a pile of lists, plans or drafts

How do we overcome procrastination?

We learn to navigate it, and rebuild a trustworthy relationship with ourselves.

1. Understand why it’s present

Procrastination is a defense mechanism: it’s a strategy our brain creates to protect us from pain, danger and fear - whether the threat is real (a lion running towards you) or not (writing a novel). It simply wants to keep you safe from any negative emotion that could be triggered as you take action on something new, challenging or uncomfortable. The thing is: your brain will always perceive it as a threat if you don’t actively reprogram it by taking action on that new, challenging or uncomfortable thing you need to do to bring you closer to your beautiful goal.

“Serpentining" means trying to control a situation, backing out of it, pretending it's not happening, or maybe even pretending that you don't care. We use it to dodge conflict, discomfort, possible confrontation, the potential for shame or hurt, and/or criticism (self- or other-inflicted). Serpentining can lead to hiding out, pretending, avoidance, procrastination, rationalizing, blaming, and lying. I have a tendency to want to serpentine when I feel vulnerable. If I have to make a difficult call, I'll try to script both sides of it. I'll convince myself that I should wait, I'll draft an e-mail while telling myself that it's better in writing, and I'll think of a million other things to do. I'll emotionally run back and forth until I'm exhausted.” - Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead

2. Unlearn and forgive yourself

Procrastinating doesn’t make you a bad, broken, unlovable person. It makes you human. Forgive yourself for buying into the belief that you can’t do big, scary things. You most definitely can when you break them down into smaller pieces, and nurture yourself through the process.

3. Write personal commandments

I would invite you to write personal commandments: agreements that you set with yourself to follow through on your plans, and to help you navigate what happens when things don’t go according to plan. Make it clear and feasible.

I’m someone who takes their creative practice seriously.

I journal every day for 5 minutes.

When I skip a day, I forgive myself and never skip two days.

4. Setting supportive habits and boundaries

A structured plan is a great way to clarify what needs to be done step by step to achieve a goal, and setting supportive habits and boundaries is what will help you make sure nothing hijacks said plan. As much as possible.

What are the monthly, weekly, daily habits that will support you in taking action on your plan?

What boundaries will you need to set with yourself, your partner, your family and your clients?

What are you not available for anymore when it comes to perfectionism (being not enough, being ashamed of yourself) and procrastination (betraying yourself, avoiding pain)?

5. Learning to trust yourself again

Overcoming procrastination is a journey of rebuilding the inner trust you may have lost in years of self betrayal: promising yourself you’ll show up, and then ghosting yourself, repeatedly. Be patient.